---
title: "Forgive Us Our Debts"
category: "spiritual-disciplines"
description: "God forgives by cancelling a debt you could never pay, and the forgiveness is received by everyone who repents. A study of Matthew 6:14-15: what biblical forgiveness is, how it differs from love and from trust, what to do when the one who wronged you keeps on, and how to forgive without false guilt."
tags: ["matthew", "luke", "ephesians", "1-peter", "forgiveness", "repentance", "reconciliation", "method/word-study", "lang/greek", "lang/hebrew"]
questions: ["Do I have to forgive someone who isn't sorry?", "Does forgiving someone mean I have to trust them again?"]
draft: false
primary_passage: "Matthew 6:14-15"
bible_references: ["Matthew 6:12", "Mark 11:25", "Luke 17:3-4", "Matthew 18:15-17", "Matthew 18:21-35", "Matthew 5:23-24", "Matthew 5:44-45", "Matthew 4:20", "Luke 7:41-47", "Luke 23:34", "Luke 24:47", "Luke 13:3", "Acts 2:36-38", "Acts 3:17-19", "Acts 7:60", "Acts 16:37", "Ephesians 4:26", "Ephesians 4:31-32", "Colossians 2:13-14", "Colossians 3:13", "Romans 5:8-10", "Romans 12:17-21", "Romans 13:4", "2 Corinthians 2:6-11", "2 Corinthians 5:18-21", "1 John 1:8-10", "1 Peter 2:23", "1 Peter 4:3-5", "2 Timothy 4:14-16", "Exodus 34:6-7", "Deuteronomy 29:19-20", "Deuteronomy 15:1-2", "Psalm 130:3-4", "Jeremiah 31:34", "Genesis 42:21", "Genesis 50:17-21", "Matthew 10:16"]
date_created: 2026-10-04
date_modified: 2026-10-31
ai_provider_models:
  - anthropic/claude-opus-5.5
---

# Forgive Us Our Debts

Jesus taught His disciples a prayer with six requests, and then He stopped to explain one of them.
He passed over the bread, the kingdom and the evil one. He went back to forgiveness.

> ✝️ Matthew 6:12, 14-15 (ESV)
>
> 12 and forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. ... 14 For if you forgive
> others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, 15 but if you do not forgive
> others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.

**In one sentence:** God forgives by cancelling a debt you could never pay, paid by His Son Jesus
and offered before anyone asked, and that forgiveness is received by everyone who repents; so a
disciple forgives the same way, releasing every debt to God at once, granting forgiveness and
restored fellowship when the offender repents, and leaving the unrepentant to the Judge without
revenge, without bitterness, and without being made to trust again.

## Key Takeaways

*(This section follows the [Key Takeaways](https://the-way.lewy.au/about/key-takeaways/) format — see that page for what each part is for.)*

### Lessons about Jesus

- **Jesus paid the debt.** God cancelled "the record of debt that stood against us," and "set
  aside, nailing it to the cross" (Colossians 2:14, ESV). The forgiveness you receive cost Him His
  life.
- **Jesus offered forgiveness before anyone asked.** "While we were still sinners, Christ died for
  us" (Romans 5:8, ESV). On the cross He prayed for the men who put Him there (Luke 23:34, a verse some early manuscripts
  lack).
- **Jesus forgives everyone who comes.** Seven weeks later Peter preached to the city that had
  crucified Him, and told them to "repent ... for the forgiveness of your sins" (Acts 2:38,
  ESV). About three thousand did.
- **Jesus entrusted Himself to the Judge.** "When he suffered, he did not threaten, but continued
  entrusting himself to him who judges justly" (1 Peter 2:23, ESV). That is the road He walked
  ahead of you.

### Memory verses

> ✝️ Ephesians 4:32 (ESV)
>
> 32 Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

> ✝️ Luke 17:3-4 (ESV)
>
> 3 Pay attention to yourselves! If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him,
> 4 and if he sins against you seven times in the day, and turns to you seven times, saying, 'I
> repent,' you must forgive him.

### Be Transformed

- **Think.** Your sin was a debt you could not pay, and God cancelled it at the cross. Anything
  anyone owes you is smaller than that (Matthew 18:24, 28).
- **Attitude.** Hold every debt open-handed before God. You no longer keep the account; He does,
  and He judges justly (1 Peter 2:23; 4:5).
- **Do.** Name one person who has wronged you. Today, pray "forgive us our debts, as we also have
  forgiven our debtors" (Matthew 6:12, ESV) with their name in it, and tell God you release the debt
  to Him and will not repay it. If they have repented, tell them they are forgiven. If they have
  not, pray for them, and decide what wise distance looks like.

### Prayer

Father, You are merciful and gracious, and with You there is forgiveness. I owed You a debt I could
never pay, and Your Son Jesus paid it on the cross. Thank You that You forgave me when I came to You
in repentance, and that You keep forgiving me as Your child. Teach me to forgive as You forgave me.
I give You what ______ owes me; I will not repay it, and I leave the judging to You. Where they turn
back, make me quick to forgive them. Where they do not, keep me from bitterness and give me wisdom.

In Jesus' name. Amen.

## Study outline

- [Matthew 6:14-15 in its place](#matthew-614-15-in-its-place). The only request Jesus explains,
  spoken to disciples.
- [The words for forgiveness](#the-words-for-forgiveness). Release, debt, trespass, and a Hebrew
  verb kept for God alone.
- [How God forgives](#how-god-forgives). Paid and offered first; received by those who repent; not
  received by those who refuse.
- [What Matthew 6:15 warns a believer about](#what-matthew-615-warns-a-believer-about). Two readings,
  and what both keep secure.
- [Two movements of forgiveness](#two-movements-of-forgiveness). Mark 11:25 and Luke 17:3-4, how they fit, where Christians differ, and restoring the repentant.
- [When the offender keeps on](#when-the-offender-keeps-on). Confront, release, love, and guard.
- [When Matthew 6:15 is used as a weapon](#when-matthew-615-is-used-as-a-weapon). Four ways the
  verse is bent to silence the wronged, and what it does ask.
- [What forgiveness is not](#what-forgiveness-is-not). The pastoral section: false guilt, and what
  forgiving does not require of you.
- [The freedom of forgiving](#the-freedom-of-forgiving). The close: handing the account to the Father.
- [Discussion questions](#discussion-questions). Six, for a group or on your own.

## Matthew 6:14-15 in its place

### A coda on one request

Matthew 6:1-18 takes three acts of devotion in turn: giving, prayer and fasting. The prayer Jesus
gives sits in the middle (Matthew 6:9-13). Verses 14 and 15 open with "for" (γάρ, *gar*, G1063), so they
explain what came before. They explain one line of it, "forgive us our debts, as we also have
forgiven our debtors" (Matthew 6:12, ESV). Of six requests, this is the one Jesus comments on.

The people He is speaking to call God "your heavenly Father" (Matthew 6:14). This is family speech.
The prayer opens "Our Father in heaven" (Matthew 6:9, ESV), and Jesus addresses disciples who
already belong to Him (Matthew 5:1-2). That fact matters when we come to verse 15.

### What the first hearers heard

Debt was the language of their economy and their law. Every seventh year, the Law of Moses
required "every creditor shall release what he has lent to his neighbor" (Deuteronomy 15:2, ESV).
Jewish teachers also spoke of sins as debts owed to God, and the regularly prayed Amida asked Him for
forgiveness (*NIV Cultural Backgrounds Study Bible*, note on Matthew 6:12). So when Jesus said
"debts," His hearers understood a creditor, an amount owed, and a release.

The ESV and NASB translate verse 12 "as we also *have forgiven*." That follows the Greek aorist
ἀφήκαμεν (*aphēkamen*, G863), a completed act. The WEB has "as we also forgive," from a later manuscript
reading with the present tense. On the stronger reading the disciple comes to pray having already
released his debtors.

## The words for forgiveness

### Release

The verb in all three of these verses is ἀφίημι (*aphiēmi*, ah-FEE-ay-mee, G863). It means to let go.
The New Testament uses it 143 times, and most of them have nothing to do with sin. Peter and Andrew
"left their nets" (Matthew 4:20, ESV): <span data-strongs="G863">ἀφέντες</span>, they let them go. In the parable of the unforgiving
servant the king "released him and forgave him the debt" (Matthew 18:27, ESV), and "forgave" is
<span data-strongs="G863">ἀφῆκεν</span>.

To forgive, in the Gospels, is to let a debt go. The creditor stops holding it against the debtor.
He absorbs the loss himself.

### Debt and trespass

Verse 12 calls sins ὀφειλήματα (*opheilēmata*, oh-fay-LAY-mah-tah, G3783), "debts." Verses 14-15
call them παραπτώματα (*paraptōmata*, pah-rap-TOH-mah-tah, G3900), "trespasses," a false step off
the path. The two words show the two sides of sin. A trespass is what I did. A debt is what I now
owe because I did it.

### Give freely

Paul uses a third word, χαρίζομαι (*charizomai*, khah-REED-zoh-my, G5483). It is built on χάρις
(*charis*, G5485, "grace"). Paul uses it twice in Ephesians 4:32: "forgiving (<span data-strongs="G5483">χαριζόμενοι</span>) one another, as
God in Christ forgave (<span data-strongs="G5483">ἐχαρίσατο</span>) you" (ESV). Luke uses the same verb for the moneylender whose two
debtors "could not pay," so "he cancelled the debt of both" (Luke 7:42, ESV). Forgiveness is a
gift, given to someone who cannot pay.

### A Hebrew verb kept for God

The Old Testament's word for "forgive" is <span dir="rtl">סָלַח</span> (*salach*, sah-LAKH, H5545).
It occurs 46 times in the Hebrew Bible, and in every one the forgiver is the LORD, either named or
implied by a passive ("he shall be forgiven," Leviticus 4:26). People in the Old Testament do
release debts and spare enemies; Joseph's brothers ask him to "forgive" using another verb,
<span dir="rtl">נָשָׂא</span> (*nasa*, H5375, "lift, carry away") (Genesis 50:17). But *salach*
belongs to God. "If you, O LORD, should mark iniquities, O Lord, who could stand? But with you there
is forgiveness" (Psalm 130:3-4, ESV).

So when Jesus tells disciples to forgive, He asks them to do on a small scale what Scripture says
only God does in full. A disciple can forgive because God forgave first.

## How God forgives

Is forgiveness given to someone who has turned from the wrong, or to someone who goes on doing it?
Scripture answers it first about God, because Paul makes God's forgiveness the pattern for ours ("as
God in Christ forgave you," Ephesians 4:32, ESV). God's forgiveness has three parts.

### Paid and offered before anyone asked

God moved first. "God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for
us" (Romans 5:8, ESV). Paul goes further: "while we were enemies we were reconciled to God by the
death of his Son" (Romans 5:10, ESV). At the cross God was "reconciling the world to himself, not
counting their trespasses against them" (2 Corinthians 5:19, ESV).

The debt was real, and it was unpayable. In Jesus' parable the servant owed ten thousand talents.
A talent was about twenty years' wages for a labourer (*ESV Study Bible*, note on Matthew 18:24),
and ten thousand (μύριοι, *myrioi*, G3463) was the largest numeral in Greek (*NIV Biblical Theology Study
Bible*, note on Matthew 18:24). Herod the Great's annual tax
revenue was about 800 talents (*NIV Cultural Backgrounds Study Bible*, note on Matthew 18:24). "And
since he could not pay" (Matthew 18:25, ESV) is the whole human situation before God.

So God paid it Himself. He forgave "all our trespasses, by canceling the record of debt that stood
against us with its legal demands. This he set aside, nailing it to the cross" (Colossians 2:13-14,
ESV). This is the atonement: Jesus bore the debt, and God is "just and the justifier of the one who
has faith in Jesus" (Romans 3:26, ESV). Nothing you do earns it. It was paid before you were born.

On the cross Jesus prayed, "Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do" (Luke 23:34,
ESV). Some early manuscripts lack this sentence, and the CSB, LSB and NLT footnote it, so it should
be held with that caution. Stephen's prayer is secure in the text, and it follows his Lord's: "Lord,
do not hold this sin against them" (Acts 7:60, ESV).

### Received by those who repent

The offer is for everyone. The forgiveness is received by those who turn. Jesus sent His apostles
to preach "repentance for the forgiveness of sins ... to all nations, beginning from Jerusalem"
(Luke 24:47, ESV).

Watch who Peter preaches to. He tells the crowd in Jerusalem, "this Jesus whom you crucified"
(Acts 2:36, ESV). Peter holds them responsible for the cross. They were "cut to the heart," and
Peter answered, "Repent and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the
forgiveness of your sins" (Acts 2:37-38, ESV). At the temple he said it again, in words that echo
the prayer from the cross: "I know that you
acted in ignorance ... Repent therefore, and turn back, that your sins may be blotted out" (Acts
3:17, 19, ESV).

So the prayer from the cross was answered in the way Jesus always forgives. The way was opened for
the very men who killed Him, and they entered it when they turned. "To all who did receive him, who
believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God" (John 1:12, ESV).

Repentance pays nothing. The debt was settled at the cross. Repentance is agreeing with God that the
debt was real and that you cannot pay it, and faith is the empty hand that takes what He gives.
"Salvation is not earned; it's received" ([Statement of Faith](https://the-way.lewy.au/about/statement-of-faith/)).

### Not received by those who refuse

Because forgiveness is received, it is not universal. God describes Himself as "forgiving iniquity
and transgression and sin, but who will by no means clear the guilty" (Exodus 34:7, ESV). Moses
warned of the man who hears God's covenant and says in his heart, "I shall be safe, though I walk in
the stubbornness of my heart." Of him: "The LORD will not be willing to forgive him" (Deuteronomy
29:19-20, ESV). Jesus put it in one line: "unless you repent, you will all likewise perish" (Luke
13:3, ESV).

John says the same to believers. "If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves ... If we confess
our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins" (1 John 1:8-9, ESV). The person who
insists his wrongs were never wrong has not asked for forgiveness, and has nothing to receive it
with.

Peter wrote to Christians mocked by former friends for leaving their old life. Of those mockers he
says, "they will give account to him who is ready to judge the living and the dead" (1 Peter 4:5,
ESV). The account stays open until it is settled at the cross or settled at the judgment. God
"commands all people everywhere to repent, because he has fixed a day on which he will judge the
world" (Acts 17:30-31, ESV).

This shows that God is both merciful and just. He paid the whole debt and offers the release to
everyone; He gives it to all who come; and He will not pretend that the one who refuses owes
nothing.

## What Matthew 6:15 warns a believer about

### The difficulty

"If you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses"
(Matthew 6:15, ESV). Read alone, that sounds as though a Christian could be justified, then lose it
by holding a grudge. Scripture rules that out. "There is therefore now no condemnation for those who
are in Christ Jesus" (Romans 8:1, ESV), and justification is a verdict that "neither improves nor
erodes with my performance" ([Statement of Faith](https://the-way.lewy.au/about/statement-of-faith/)). So what is
Jesus warning about? There are two main readings, and both have good support.

### Reading one: the Father's forgiveness of His children

Jesus speaks to disciples about "your Father." The forgiveness in view is the daily forgiveness a
child of God asks for, the restoring of fellowship with Him when sin has come between. The *ESV
Study Bible* takes it this way: verse 12 is "a prayer for the restoration of personal fellowship
with God," and verses 14-15 refer to "restoration of personal relationship with God, not to initial
justification" (notes on Matthew 6:12 and 6:14-15). The *NIV Biblical Theology Study Bible* agrees
(note on Matthew 6:12). On this reading, a believer who will not forgive stays a child of God and
loses the sense of the Father's nearness. He cannot pray "forgive us" with a straight face while he
keeps a brother's account open.

### Reading two: an unforgiving heart shows an unforgiven one

Jesus told the parable of the unforgiving servant to answer Peter's question about forgiving a
brother (Matthew 18:21-35). The servant was released from ten thousand talents, then choked a man
for a hundred denarii. The master handed him over "until he should pay all his debt," and Jesus
ended, "So also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother
from your heart" (Matthew 18:34-35, ESV). The *ESV Study Bible* reads it this way: one who does not
forgive "shows that his own heart has not experienced God's forgiveness" (note on Matthew 18:35). On
this reading, a settled refusal to forgive is evidence that a person never received mercy at all.

### What both readings keep

Neither reading teaches that forgiving others earns God's forgiveness. Both keep justification
secure for the one who is in Christ, and the two can stand together: the first describes a believer
who has fallen out of step, the second a person who was never changed. Paul gives the order of
grace in plain terms: "as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive" (Colossians 3:13,
ESV). You were forgiven first. Forgiving others is what that forgiveness does in you.

## Two movements of forgiveness

Two sayings of Jesus, one in Mark and one in Luke, show how a disciple forgives the repentant and
the unrepentant.

### Release before God

"Whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father also
who is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses" (Mark 11:25, ESV). The scene is prayer. The
offender is absent. Jesus names no condition: "anything against anyone." This is the same teaching
as Matthew 6:14-15, and it happens between you and God. You let the debt go to Him. You give up your
claim to repay it.

### Forgiveness granted to the one who repents

"If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him, and if he sins against you seven
times in the day, and turns to you seven times, saying, 'I repent,' you must forgive him" (Luke
17:3-4, ESV). Here the offender is present. There is a rebuke, a turning (μετανοέω, *metanoeō*,
meh-tah-noh-EH-oh, G3340), and forgiveness spoken to him. The *ESV Study Bible* notes that in
Judaism forgiving three times was thought honourable (note on Luke 17:3-4); Jesus says seven times
in a day, and to Peter "seventy-seven times" (Matthew 18:22, ESV). No count closes the door to a
brother who turns back.

### How they fit

Put together, the two match the way God forgives. God paid the debt and offered release before
anyone asked; He grants forgiveness and fellowship to those who repent. You release the debt to God
at once, whether or not the other person ever repents; you grant forgiveness, spoken and restored,
when they do.

### Where Christians differ

Christians disagree about what to *call* the first movement, and the disagreement is fair:

- **Forgiveness waits for repentance.** God does not forgive the unrepentant (Exodus 34:7; Luke
  13:3), and we forgive "as God in Christ forgave" (Ephesians 4:32). Luke 17:3 says "if he repents."
  On this view the first movement is a readiness to forgive and a refusal of revenge, and the word
  "forgiveness" belongs to the second.
- **Forgiveness can be given before repentance.** Mark 11:25 names no condition. Jesus and Stephen
  prayed for men who were still killing them (Luke 23:34; Acts 7:60). On this view the first
  movement is forgiveness itself, and repentance is needed only for reconciliation.

Both views agree on what you must do. Release the debt to God now. Do not take revenge. Do not let
bitterness root. Pray for the offender. Stand ready to forgive the moment they turn. And neither
view requires you to pretend nothing happened, or to restore trust to someone who has not turned.
The difference is mostly a question of words, and this study uses both terms carefully: *release*
for what you do before God, *forgive* for what you grant to the one who repents.

### Go first, and restore the one who repents

If you are the one who did wrong, go first. "If you ... remember that your brother has something
against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go. First be reconciled to your brother"
(Matthew 5:23-24, ESV). And when a brother who wronged you repents, do not keep him at arm's length
until he is crushed. Paul told the Corinthians to "turn to forgive and comfort him, or he may be
overwhelmed by excessive sorrow ... so that we would not be outwitted by Satan" (2 Corinthians 2:7,
11, ESV).

## When the offender keeps on

Sometimes the one who wronged you has not turned, and is still doing the thing. Scripture gives you
four things to do, and they can all be true at once.

### Confront

"If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he
listens to you, you have gained your brother" (Matthew 18:15, ESV). If he will not listen, take
witnesses, then the church; if he refuses even the church, "let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax
collector" (Matthew 18:16-17, ESV). The aim from the first step is to gain him back, and Jesus' own
process names the sin out loud.

### Release vengeance to God

"Repay no one evil for evil ... never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is
written, 'Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord'" (Romans 12:17, 19, ESV). This is what
Jesus did: He "continued entrusting himself to him who judges justly" (1 Peter 2:23, ESV). And it is
why 1 Peter 4:5 is good news to a wronged believer. The one who wronged you "will give account." You
do not have to collect the debt, because God will settle it, at the cross if they repent, at the
judgment if they do not. Letting go of the account hands it to the only Judge who can settle it
justly.

### Love and pray

"Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be sons of your Father who
is in heaven" (Matthew 5:44-45, ESV). "If your enemy is hungry, feed him" (Romans 12:20, ESV, quoting Proverbs 25:21). Love
is owed to everyone, the unrepentant included. It seeks their good, and the highest good you can
pray for them is that they repent and are forgiven by God.

This is where love and forgiveness differ. Love is unconditional: you owe it to an enemy who never
says sorry. Forgiveness, in its full spoken and reconciled form, answers repentance. Reconciliation
takes two. "If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all" (Romans 12:18, ESV)
admits that sometimes it does not depend on you.

### Guard

Paul wrote near the end of his life, "Alexander the coppersmith did me great harm; the Lord will
repay him according to his deeds. Beware of him yourself" (2 Timothy 4:14-15, ESV). In the next
breath, of friends who abandoned him: "May it not be charged against them!" (2 Timothy 4:16, ESV).
Paul handed Alexander to the Lord, did not seek revenge, and still warned Timothy to keep his
distance.

Joseph tested his brothers before he revealed himself. He heard them say, "In truth we are guilty
concerning our brother" (Genesis 42:21, ESV), and still tested them again before he made himself
known (Genesis 44-45). Jesus sends His
people out "as sheep in the midst of wolves, so be wise as serpents and innocent as doves" (Matthew
10:16, ESV).

So you can release the debt to God and still keep a door locked. You can pray for someone and still
report a crime; the governing authority is "the servant of God, an avenger who carries out God's
wrath on the wrongdoer" (Romans 13:4, ESV), and Paul himself insisted on his legal rights when he was
wronged (Acts 16:37). If someone is harming you or your children, getting safe is not a failure to
forgive.

## When Matthew 6:15 is used as a weapon

### The demand

Some people who have been badly wronged are told something like this: "You must forgive. That means
drop it, stop talking about it, and go back to how things were. If you don't, Matthew 6:15 says God
won't forgive you, and your salvation is at risk." It is often said by the offender, or by leaders
protecting him. When Scripture is used to silence someone who was harmed and to shield the person
who harmed them, that is spiritual abuse.

The verse is real and its warning is real. Here is how the demand bends it.

### It asks more of you than God asks of Himself

God does not forgive the unrepentant. Salvation is offered to all, and received by those who turn;
it is not universal (Exodus 34:7; Luke 13:3; 1 Peter 4:5). Yet the demand tells a victim to grant
full forgiveness and restored fellowship to someone who has not turned, on pain of hell. That is a
heavier standard than God's own. Paul says to forgive "as God in Christ forgave you" (Ephesians 4:32,
ESV), and God's forgiveness is received through repentance.

### It moves the burden onto the wrong person

In Jesus' teaching the first move belongs to the one who sinned: he is rebuked, and he repents
(Luke 17:3). Jesus' process names the sin out loud and brings in witnesses (Matthew 18:15-17). The
demand skips the offender's repentance and puts the whole weight on the one who was hurt.

### It reads the parable backwards

Look at whom the unforgiving servant refused. "His fellow servant fell down and pleaded with him,
'Have patience with me, and I will pay you'" (Matthew 18:29, ESV). The man condemned in Matthew
18:35 was a forgiven man who choked a debtor begging for mercy. The parable's warning falls on
someone who withholds mercy from a person asking for it. It says nothing to a victim who is still
bleeding, who will not pretend, or who is keeping their children safe.

### It changes what forgiveness means

The demand usually defines forgiveness as silence, trust and reunion. Scripture defines it as
releasing a debt, and Matthew 6:15 sits beside verse 12, which calls sins debts. You can release the debt to God and still speak about what happened, still keep
your distance (2 Timothy 4:15), and still go to the police (Romans 13:4).

### What the verse does ask of you

Keep hold of what is true in the warning. A heart that settles into wanting the offender to pay,
that nurses the wound and keeps the account, is in danger, and Jesus means you to feel that. So give
the debt to God, even if you have to do it again tomorrow. Refuse revenge. Pray for them. And be
ready to forgive the day they turn. That is what Jesus asks. Anyone who asks you for more than that,
in His name, is asking for more than He does.

## What forgiveness is not

Many Christians carry guilt they do not owe, because they were taught that forgiveness means
something Scripture never asks. Here is what forgiving does not require of you.

### It is not forgetting

God says, "I will forgive their iniquity, and I will remember their sin no more" (Jeremiah 31:34,
ESV). God does not lose information. He chooses not to hold the sin against His people, ever again.
That is what you do too. You will still remember. When the memory comes back, you release the debt
again; that is part of what "seventy-seven times" means (Matthew 18:22).

### It is not feeling nothing

Joseph wept when his brothers asked for forgiveness (Genesis 50:17), and then "comforted them and
spoke kindly to them" (Genesis 50:21, ESV). Forgiving does not end the hurt in an afternoon. Paul
writes, "Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger" (Ephesians 4:26, ESV).
Anger at a real wrong is not sin. What you must put away is "all bitterness and wrath and anger and
clamor and slander ... along with all malice" (Ephesians 4:31, ESV), the anger that wants to hurt
back.

### It is not saying it was fine

God calls sin a debt and paid for it with the blood of His Son. Forgiveness takes a wrong seriously
enough to name it. Joseph said plainly, "you meant evil against me" (Genesis 50:20, ESV), and
forgave them in the same breath.

### It is not trust, and it is not removing every consequence

Trust is rebuilt over time by changed behaviour, and it can take years. A forgiven thief can still
be kept away from the till, and a forgiven abuser away from the people they harmed (see
[Guard](#guard)).

## The freedom of forgiving

Forgiving is a release for the one who forgives as well. You stop carrying an account that was never
yours to collect. You give it to your Father, who sees, who judges justly, and who forgave you a debt
of ten thousand talents. So you may forgive as you were forgiven, and pray "forgive us our debts"
with nothing held back.

## Discussion Questions

1. **The language.** The Gospels' word for forgive, ἀφίημι (*aphiēmi*), is the word for Peter and
   Andrew leaving their nets on the beach (Matthew 4:20). What does picturing forgiveness as "letting
   go" of a debt change about how you think of it?
2. **The text in its context.** Forgiveness is the only request in the Lord's Prayer that Jesus
   stops to explain (Matthew 6:14-15). Why might forgiveness need explaining more than daily bread
   did?
3. **Christ.** Jesus prayed for those who crucified Him (Luke 23:34), and at Pentecost Peter told
   Jerusalem, "this Jesus whom you crucified," and called them to repent (Acts 2:36-38). What does
   that show about how Jesus forgives?
4. **The hard part.** Mark 11:25 names no condition, and Luke 17:3 says "if he repents." How do you
   hold those two sayings together?
5. **Used as a weapon.** Someone tells a person who was badly wronged, "Forgive and move on, or God
   won't forgive you." Using Matthew 18:29-35 and Luke 17:3, what is true in that, and what has
   been added?
6. **Be transformed.** When Jesus suffered, He "continued entrusting himself to him who judges
   justly" (1 Peter 2:23). What debt are you still trying to collect that you could hand to the
   Judge this week?

## References & Recommended Reading

- *English Standard Version* (Crossway) — the default quotation text, verified against
  `study-notes.db`.
- *World English Bible* — compared at Matthew 6:12.
- SBL Greek New Testament and the MACULA Greek and Hebrew morphology — word forms and counts
  (ἀφίημι 143 times; <span dir="rtl">סָלַח</span> 46 times).
- *ESV Study Bible* (Crossway) — notes on Matthew 6:12, 6:14-15, 18:24, 18:35 and Luke 17:3-4,
  quoted briefly with attribution.
- *NIV Biblical Theology Study Bible* (Zondervan) — notes on Matthew 6:12 and 18:24.
- *NIV Cultural Backgrounds Study Bible*, Craig S. Keener and John H. Walton, eds. (Zondervan) —
  notes on Matthew 6:12 and 18:24.
- *CSB Ancient Faith Study Bible*, *Legacy Standard Bible* and *NLT* footnotes — the textual
  variant at Luke 23:34.

### On this site

- [The Lord's Prayer](https://the-way.lewy.au/christian-life/lords-prayer/) — the prayer Matthew 6:14-15 explains.
- [Hurt by the Church](https://the-way.lewy.au/christian-life/hurt-by-the-church/) — forgiveness and restoration when the wound came from
  God's people.
- [Where Two or Three Are Gathered](https://the-way.lewy.au/israel-and-church/where-two-or-three-are-gathered/) —
  Matthew 18:15-20, the process for confronting a brother.
- [Statement of Faith](https://the-way.lewy.au/about/statement-of-faith/) — salvation and justification.